13 January 2010


Yesterday I had one of those parenting moments I'm not proud of. Soon after it happened, I tweeted my sisters: sometimes I get so mad at my kids I scare myself.

I am aware that every parent is allowed a few of these without totally screwing up their kids. In fact, often they prompt a powerful teaching moment about how sometimes mommies are wrong, sometimes they do things they shouldn't, and can you please forgive.

I sometimes wonder what kind of legacy I'm leaving for my boys. And by legacy I mean what am I doing, cooking, wearing, and saying that is sticking with them for more than their few-minutes-long attention spans. Will they remember me as a grumpy, yelling nag? Will they remember that we had any fun together? I will. But will they?

Later on, a bit after my not-so-proud-moment which included a tearful apology, I said to James, "can we always be best buddies?"

"Sure," he said.

"Because pretty soon it's not going to be the cool thing for you to be best buddies with your mom."

But he reassured me that he still would.

Now it has been documented. I just need to remember to quit yelling and do what it takes to deserve it.


David and Jana said...

I have been having many moments lately when I think, "Ahh, I am screwing up my kid because I am a bad mom", but I have to remind myself that I am human and that I am doing my best. I know you are too and that you are an amazing mom. Thanks for this post!

Lizzy said...

That is the cutest picture! And I'm always wondering if Ben will forever think me a mean or happy mom. In fact, he always asks me, "Are you happy mom or sad mom?" If I happen to be "sad mom" I always try to at least explain why I'm sad so he doesn't think that's just how I am.

Oh man, I hope I don't screw these kids up!

Aimee Fuller said...

With boys that cute you definitely gotta be doing something right. We all have mommy moments but the important thing to remember is that after it happened you were able to step back, learn from it, and become and even more amazing mom than you are. You're awesome and you'll always be best buddies with your little buddies.

Tara said...

Girl I am right there with you! Sometimes I just really lose it with my 2 year old and then I end up crying that night because I feel so awful. I hope he doesn't remember those times either. It's definitely hard when we are on duty almost 24/7 to ALWAYS be patient.

That picture is darling. Your boys are so handsome!

Emily said...

I don't know what my deal is lately, but everything makes me cry. That was the sweetest post, and I LOVE that picture of your boys.

Kids are so forgiving, and it's a good thing because if they weren't, all of our kids would be screwed up.

We ALL have those moments.

megan said...

Thank you for your post. I have those moments too. I hope my boys remember more than just a mean mom. That is such a cute picture of your boys. You are a great mom!

Jen I said...

I had no idea I had such a temper until I had kids. It's so much faster to yell at them than to be calm, talk and listen and figure things out otherwise, unfortunately. But I really think kids forget a lot of that stuff. Mine always seem to come up to me two minutes later all cute and wanting to play and I'm like, "Don't you remember I'm mad at you?"

That picture is adorable though. They don't look screwed up. :)

Jessica said...

As you know, I SO have my yelling under control. If you need any tips, let me know.

And I just added your midwife books from your previous post.

Thanks for visiting and suggesting movies. I'm so excited to watch all of them.

(Isn't Ilene the best?)

Lis said...

Gosh, that picture is cute.

I can hear James saying that. I think he means it, too.