01 April 2009

All we can do is try

This morning I woke up grumpy. The culprit? A restless night full of leg cramps, charlie horses, and hoisting my big belly from side-to-side in search of comfort. (Man, it's amazing what pregnancy can do to your body. . . but I digress).

Stumbling out to the kitchen I found myself met with multiple demands: for food, drink and more than anything, my attention to comments such as:

"Look how fast I can chew my bagel, mom"

"Elijah at school can crack his wrists like this, mom"

"Mommy, did you know that spiderman can fly by shooting his webs?"

What did I expect? This was nothing new. Anyone who spends time with young children knows that from the moment their eyes open in the morning to the time they close at night they demand presence and attention of no less than one hundred percent.

It really is easy to become resentful, to tune the children out, to wish for things such as waking up to a quiet house where breakfast is eaten in relative silence and a shower is taken without a minimum of three interuptions and fighting going on outside the door.

It is also easy to wish ourselves to a different phase of life. We look at others and think their situations are so much easier and that we would manage better if only we had their lives.

But, at the end of the day, as you've probably read in previous posts, (musings of this sort seem to be a recurring theme for me) I do have every desire to live in the moment with my young children. I really do wish to appreciate every stage the boys are in, and I want to have no regrets. I look at my friend who is about to send her oldest son to college and although she is delighted at his independence and ambition, she also finds herself heartbroken that his short time at home is over. I think of this time, 12ish years in the future for me, and get teary-eyed at the mere thought. Every time I drop James off at school, I still think he's too small to walk in that big building all alone, all day long, for heavens sake.

And so, today, again, I'll recommit to being patient, kind, and try take advantage of teaching moments. I'll try to yell less; I will sit down and play in a messy room instead of get stressed out about the toys that "should have been put away", and I'll really listen to what the boys have to say instead of just nodding and saying "mmm hmmm".

I really will try. And now I have to go. I have a date with my 3-year-old and his choo-choo track.


Ilene said...

Ah, the theme of motherhood. Trying to live in the moment and enjoy your children doesn't sound hard but so often it is.

Jaclyn said...

Thank you for the gentle reminder to appreciate (not resent) my children today. I needed that reminder as a stinky one came and told me to wake up from my all to short afternoon nap/break.

Jen I said...

Yeah, but not being in that talk all the time phase, I am appreciating even more that two of the three can't talk and the one that does is pretty mellow. We've babysat a few kids lately and been around a lot of 3-6 year olds and HOLY COW. It tries your patience! And really, there is never silence! And I sort of dread that will be me in two years with three mouths constantly needing, needing, needing, yapping yapping, yapping! And me being the one getting on the elevator with other people rolling their eyes at my kids. So really, you have every reason to say so. But yes, when you do listen to what they say, it really is cute and charming a lot of the time, and I agree, I try to enjoy everything. And realizing that my stage right now is more physically exhausting because I have to do so much for them rather than mentally exhausting.