Stumbling out to the kitchen I found myself met with multiple demands: for food, drink and more than anything, my attention to comments such as:
"Look how fast I can chew my bagel, mom"
"Elijah at school can crack his wrists like this, mom"
"Mommy, did you know that spiderman can fly by shooting his webs?"
What did I expect? This was nothing new. Anyone who spends time with young children knows that from the moment their eyes open in the morning to the time they close at night they demand presence and attention of no less than one hundred percent.
It really is easy to become resentful, to tune the children out, to wish for things such as waking up to a quiet house where breakfast is eaten in relative silence and a shower is taken without a minimum of three interuptions and fighting going on outside the door.
It is also easy to wish ourselves to a different phase of life. We look at others and think their situations are so much easier and that we would manage better if only we had their lives.
But, at the end of the day, as you've probably read in previous posts, (musings of this sort seem to be a recurring theme for me) I do have every desire to live in the moment with my young children. I really do wish to appreciate every stage the boys are in, and I want to have no regrets. I look at my friend who is about to send her oldest son to college and although she is delighted at his independence and ambition, she also finds herself heartbroken that his short time at home is over. I think of this time, 12ish years in the future for me, and get teary-eyed at the mere thought. Every time I drop James off at school, I still think he's too small to walk in that big building all alone, all day long, for heavens sake.
And so, today, again, I'll recommit to being patient, kind, and try take advantage of teaching moments. I'll try to yell less; I will sit down and play in a messy room instead of get stressed out about the toys that "should have been put away", and I'll really listen to what the boys have to say instead of just nodding and saying "mmm hmmm".
I really will try. And now I have to go. I have a date with my 3-year-old and his choo-choo track.