An inspiring performance

I recently watched a re-broadcast of the 2008 Christmas concert by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. During the concert, the story was told of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,
"The great American poet [who] is revered for his classic literary works. His poem “Christmas Bells” has become one of our most well-known and beloved Christmas carols, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” What is less known, though, is the story behind the poem.

Reeling from the tragic death of his wife and the war wounds of his son, Longfellow penned the words to “Christmas Bells” during one of the darkest times in American history. And while the words of the poem reflect his obvious despair and grief, it is the triumphant message of “peace on earth, good will to men” for which this song — and Longfellow's personal story — is remembered." (quoted from here)

If you're so inclined, you might take a minute to watch this performance. It is so well narrated by Ed Herrman, and this story of the Longfellow family has been on my mind since I watched. The performance left me with the feeling that Christmas is truly a time for healing and finding peace, and that message is like balm to my soul right now.

**Here is the link to original clip on youtube, as I can see that the full screen isn't showing up on the blog.

Thankful

Thank you so much for all your nice comments and for all your excitement. In the middle of vomiting or wishing I could vomit, it is difficult to feel excitement but of course this is a very happy and joyous event and I couldn't be more grateful that my body is able to house and provide a body for one of Heavenly Father's choice spirits.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving was like a turning point for me. All of a sudden I had an inkling of a desire to cook dinner (nothing fancy) and we even sat at the dinner table as a family for the first time in weeks. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but the past few days I have been less exhausted and more able to deal with the nausea.

I have amazing friends and family who have offered so many prayers, and some dear, dear friends who brought over freezer meals for us to eat the next few weeks. I am sitting here feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for the love and support that so many people have shown to me and our family and that is the first true miracle of Christmas. I am so thankful.

The first post of November

First of all, go and read this list. Except for #11, I pretty much could have written every single one of these. But since she wrote it so well first, I second everything she says, and I'll add a few more of my own:

1) Watching the food network, food commercials, and looking at food in magazines makes me immediately sick to my stomach

2) My super smeller pregnant nose can smell a poop the minute it enters the diaper even on the opposite side of a big room. Then I start crying thinking about how I have to change it. P.S. Super smeller nose is a CURSE.

3) For weeks and weeks I have to abandon, with no guilt, my usual green practices of recycling, composting and cloth diapering simply because the smell of each makes me dry heave.

4) All I ever want to do all day long is lay on the couch and watch tv or lay in my bed and sleep. Because anyone who has experienced this kind of nausea knows that sleeping or tuning out real life is the only real escape.

5) Whenever I feel that dreaded hunger pain in my stomach I start to panic because I know that 95% of the food in my house is inedible and disgusting.

6) Whenever my children say they're hungry or a mealtime is approaching, the panic increases ten-fold because the thought of standing in the stinky kitchen preparing food often overwhelms me to tears. In short,

I. HATE. MEALTIMES.

And that, my friends, is the most mysterious and crazy thing about these pregnancy hormones that invade and hijack every single system of my body. Because in my non-pregnant life,

I. LOVE. MEALTIMES.

and I actually look forward to them.

So bizarre.

We are excited and overwhelmed to welcome the fourth and final Fuller child into our family. And we will be even more excited if this dreaded nausea ever goes away.

Fall never feels like fall without. . .

. . . a day of apple picking, a hayride and a trip to the pumpkin patch.

Done, done and done. And the whole experience is made even better when caramel apples are involved.

Decorator Extraordinaire

Thanks to this favorite auntie and her understanding of Feng Shui and ability to improve the Qi in my house, I now have a home with things on the walls and furniture in the right places to make the flow inviting, peaceful and relaxing.

What a difference. Here is a glimpse of the magic she arranged in the four days she was here.

• Pardon the wrinkled curtains, blurry photos and bad lighting.
• The small grey chair with a funny yellow pillow is just a place holder until we find the perfect thrift store chair replacement and make a new cushion to go on top.
• Sewing projects now include: sheers for window with yellow curtains, drapes for large window behind dark brown couch, and pillows in interesting fabrics for said brown couch

And since a request was made (Liz) for "a picture of Henry in the kitchen" (lol), I had to oblige. Can you say oak, oak and more oak? It's growing on me. Again, pardon all the junk on the counter in the distance and the mismatched towels hung so beautifully on the oven door. Add to the sewing list some roman shades or something for these awesome windows that are not so awesome right now covered in dirty mini-blinds. They bring in a lot of light, which I love, so I have to find just the right fabric that won't block the light and also won't be too loud on such a large window.

And now I am officially done posting pictures of the house, with the exception that I will hopefully have some of those sewing projects complete and ready to share in the next few months. Thanks for all your nice comments and interest!

Closet love

Another favorite thing about this house is definitely this closet

Which is just off the kitchen a bit, but can be 100 percent dedicated to all my food storage and canning--which, let's be honest, is the best kind of food storage. And I'm happy to say that we moved and were mostly unpacked just in time to pick lots of produce for canning and the new kitchen was just right for the job.

For the first time in all my life as a gardener I finally grew almost enough tomatoes for my salsa this year. I'll say about 40 percent mine and 60 percent picked from local farms.

Reservoirs

Occasionally I find myself in moments of fear and panic about the world my children are growing up in. It's hard to imagine how any child can wade through the garbage that surrounds them and eventually turn into faithful, respectful, responsible, honest adults.

Equal to these moments of fear and panic are little moments where I glimpse how important my role as their mother is. I recognize that I have the opportunity every single day, in small ways, to teach them to work hard, to be honest, and to respect others and themselves.

The book I'm reading right now, Faith Precedes the Miracle, written by Spencer W. Kimball (one of the past prophets of our church) offers an interesting perspective on how we can be truly effective in this daily teaching. He suggests that within our homes we focus on building "reservoirs of righteousness & truth" that will carry our children through the dark days of temptation and desire, of drought and skepticism. He offers some great insight on how to do this:

Some years ago we visited a country where strange ideologies were taught and"pernicious doctrines" were promulgated every day in the schools and in the captive press. Every day the children listened to the doctrines, philosophies, and ideals their teachers related.

Someone said that "constant dripping will wear away the hardest stone." This I knew, so I asked about the children. "Do they retain their faith? Are they not overcome by the constant pressure of their teachers? How can you be sure they will not leave the simple faith in God?"

The answer amounted to saying, "We mend the damaged reservoir each night. We teach our children positive righteousness so that the false philosophies do not take hold. Our children are growing up in faith and righteousness in spite of the almost overwhelming pressures from outside.

Even cracked dams can be mended and saved, and sandbags can hold back the flood. And reiterated truth, renewed prayer, gospel teachings, expression of love, and parental interest, can save the child and keep him on the right path.