New Book

If you, like me, are raising boys and want them to be honest, courageous, well-rounded and kind, this is a helpful, inspirational read.

Two things I loved about this book:

• It is well organized and concise, beginning with the identification of troubles that face our boys today, and finishing with helpful suggestions on how to combat these troubles in our homes
• The author, Meg Meeker, writes with a Christian perspective that is refreshing and empowering

A few things I learned from this book:

• I gleaned a fresh perspective on the complex and wonderful relationship between a mother and her son. Meeker explains how a mother is a "dispenser of grace" and an "emotional connector" "Grace is love that is undeserved. Because a mother can see through a gnarled physique, a low IQ, a beast-like temper, or a chronic disease right to the soul of her son, she can spot the beauty within him, which allows her to love him. She can forgive him, excuse him, accept him, and love him when no one else will. Because her eyes pierce through the layers of this ugliness and finds the lost part of his self, she can extend him grace when no one else can. When a mother extends outstretched arms to a son who has failed in sports, or school, or socially, or been deemed not smart enough, 'manly enough', or just plain not good enough, he begins to understand what love is all about. (pg. 122)
• "The reality of a mother's love is that it sometimes comes out sideways. Mothers are often tired, manipulated, and they make mistakes. They scream when they mean to apologize. . .They worry about all the things that can go wrong. But there's an easy way to take some of the pressure off--and that is to allow both you and your son more time to relax. Some of the most important moments of being a parent consist of just being there for your kids and sharing the most mundane aspects of life with them." (pg. 125) 
• The chapter titled, "The Difference a Dad Makes" made me realize even more why my boys love and idolize their dad so much. I'm so grateful my boys have a dad who realizes how important this relationship is. "In a son's eyes, his father is the source of all correct answers. He knows what's going to happen next. He is smarter, stronger and tougher than the rest. A boy's world is shaped by how his father responds to those around him. Fathers are the authorities. They set rules, because they know the rules." (pg. 147)
• I learned that my boys need more time with me, with their dad, and less time with all electronics. Their innocence needs to be preserved and they need to be taught how to progress from boyhood to manhood. Meeker offers helpful, encouraging suggestions on how to implement these things on a daily basis.

I feel empowered by this book, and would recommend it to all.

Garden 2011: part 4

Just wanted to do a little garden update. Here is what I picked just the other day. I am finally swimming in grape tomatoes, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. We were super proud of that long carrot, as we have had many misshapen, stubby, and forked ones--this one is skinny, but so long and beautiful.

There is just nothing so delicious as home-grown vegetables. Now I'm trying to grow my second round of cabbage, snap peas and broccoli, although the broccoli plants have been eaten alive by something, and I'm hoping they come back.

Right now I am

Loving the Oregon summer that finally decided to arrive. 80 degrees during the day and a pleasant 60s at night. This is why we live here.

Contemplating for the millionth time the purchase of a new camera to replace our old Kodak 6.1 megapixel. How embarrassing to admit that we are still using that old dinosaur, but I'm really not a person who loves to take pictures, so it's never very high on my priority list.

Eating less than I have been or want to, not because I don't still have the voracious nursing appetite, but because I really want to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy pants sometime soon.

Hoping that the garden veggies that I'm picking and eating everyday will help with the goal above.

Looking forward to TWO weddings in the next two months of our littlest sister and our awesome cousin. Attending these weddings in Salt Lake City and Sacramento and the driving it will require is giving me a little bit of anxiety, but every minute spent on the road and every ,"are we there yet?" shouted from the back seat will be worth it to see these awesome kids be married for eternity.

Speed-Reading The Oracle of Stamboul, an interesting piece of historical fiction. Trying to finish it in two days because I can't renew it at the library.


Changing a lot of diapers. Grateful for gdiapers and the cloth inserts that fill them so that I am filling my washing machine instead of my garbage can every week.

Excited to be sewing for my Etsy shop again, after a couple month hiatus. Here's to hoping the orders will be just enough to fulfill my sewing desire, but not too many to add to the overwhelmingness that is life with four kids.


Trying to be happy for two dear friends who are selling their houses and moving their families to different states in the next few weeks. Happy for their new adventures, but sad for us who are being left behind.


inspiration for this post and future posts like this come from soulemama

Busy Summer

In the 7 weeks since Thomas joined our family, we have been busy.

James was baptized, Thomas was blessed, and lots of family came from all over the country for most of July to be a part of these special family events. We celebrated Jeff's birthday #33 and had a Fuller family reunion at the Oregon coast where we had not-so great weather, fun matching shirts and 14 adults & 18 children all sleeping in the same house. We also discovered an awesome new beach on the way home in Pacific City, Cape Kiwanda, where we met up with some great college friends who we haven't seen for 10 years. Our 4 kids became fast friends with their 4 kids for the afternoon on this beach where they searched for baby crabs and we all climbed a ginormous sand dune that we will definitely be visiting again.

Now it is August, all the visitors have gone home, Jeff is back to work, and I am learning what life is really like with four kids. Trying to balance all their needs and get anything done is no joke and I'm just trying to figure it all out and enjoy this last month of summer before school begins.

June baby

Having a baby in June is great for so many reasons. Warm weather (well, warm-ish weather in Oregon so far this summer) makes it okay for baby's wardrobe to consist solely of onesies and bare feet. Baby doesn't have to be quarantined in the house for fear of catching terrible viruses that are all around in the winter months, and I daresay sunshine and summer can definitely chase away any post-baby blues that might creep up here and there.

But one reason that it might not be so great? When older brothers come to mom wanting her to ride bikes, play basketball, and jump on the new trampoline they just earned after saving up since January and her postpartum body causes her, sadly, to say no over and over and over again.

These older brothers think that baby is pretty great, but also just think all their mom ever does anymore is sit on the couch and nurse him. And they're mostly right.

Garden 2011: part 3

So the good news is, the spot outside my kitchen window is a perfect location for a garden. I originally thought it wouldn't be hot enough for tomatoes, but I think I was wrong. It gets plenty of southern exposure sun, which is the best and warmest kind.

• The snap peas which were planted right up against my house took forever to sprout, but now are finally big enough to be covered in blossoms and producing little peas. I picked 5 the other day, which was just enough to make me want more. They might be one of my most favorite vegetables of all time.
• You can see the tomato plants in the second picture down, in the left bed to the right of the blue hula hoops. I am pruning and staking my tomato plants again, with the hope that they will produce early and well. So far they are thriving and have lots of blossoms and even one small green tomato.
• My dad was here a couple of weeks ago when Thomas was born and he generously agreed to help me install drip irrigation for my beds. I am thrilled to finally have a watering system that isn't just me standing outside with a watering can, or wasting water with an ineffective sprinkler. Here you can see the little tubing nestled into the carrot bed. Incidentally, we picked our first carrot yesterday and it was sweet and delicious. It was a part of the first planting, which was done in March, and the others should be ready any minute now.
• I picked the broccoli a bit too late--lesson learned that it should be picked when the buds are tight and not flowering--but it is still delicious, and I feel proud of my very first four heads of broccoli. I look forward to another fall planting of broccoli.
• And lastly, I am also very proud of my cabbage heads. Although the outside leaves have been nibbled on by snails, once you peel those away, the cabbage is like a work of art and the texture is soft and tender. Cabbage, like snap peas, is one vegetable I can never get enough of, so I am thrilled to finally harvest and eat my very own.

Baby

Here I sit, a little over one week postpartum feeling happy, content & peaceful, and unbelievably thrilled that finally this pregnancy is over.

Thomas Waldemar joined our family on Sunday night, June 12 at 8:29 p.m. Of the four boys, he was our shortest and most medium-sized baby, weighing in at 7 lbs. 9 ounce and almost 20 inches long.

Thomas's birth ended up being very similar to Henry's, and I feel thankful that there were no complications, and that the experience was another intensely spiritual, painful & peaceful one.

My goal at the beginning of the pregnancy was to let my body go into labor naturally--no induction, but when I found out my doctor was going to Europe on June 14, four days after my due date, I had to decide if it was worth it to sacrifice him being there for the delivery just to fulfill this desire. As it turns out, just like with all my other pregnancies, my body was dilating and showing signs of being ready to deliver even two weeks before the due date, but didn't want to make the final jump into active labor. So we decided that having doctor there was more important, and went to the hospital on Sunday evening, two days after the due date, for him to break my water. I was certain that my body would do the rest, without any other induction methods, namely pitocin, which I really didn't want. Dr. Cooper delivered Owen and Henry, and his calm, relaxed and encouraging presence in the delivery room is just amazing and I really wanted him and not a stranger there for my final birth.

So, we arrived at the hospital at 4 p.m., dr. broke my water at 5:25, regular contractions were happening about 20-30 mins later, and painful ones about 1 hour after that. My body did cooperate, and I really think my desire and my will to not have pitocin was strong enough to make those contractions strong and regular. I was able to labor in the jacuzzi tub, on the ball, walking around, and only had to get in the bed twice, once at about 7:15 where the nurse checked and found I was about 6 cm, and then once again around 8:00 when dr. checked and I was 8-9 cm. He stayed and talked me through the final contractions, which were amazingly painful but also very cool. Since I was able to labor these last contractions while standing up, I could really feel gravity helping baby's head drop little by little into the birth canal. When I had a final, unbelievably painful, intense one, I and the nurses and dr. knew that it was time to get back in bed and push. The 15 minutes of pushing was crazy intense, but thrilling and fulfilling. I feel thankful that it was so quick, and I never, ever want to do it again.

We were so fortunate to have nurses that supported my desire for a natural birth. They were patient, calm, encouraging, and facilitated every desire we had. While pushing, when I had several moments of "I cannot do this", the nurse who was holding my left leg kept saying to me, "but you are doing it" and that helped so much. She was also the one who, when the painful contractions really kicked in, said to me, "you do whatever your body tells you to do and whatever feels good. If you want to be in the bath during one contraction and on the ball the very next one, you do that." I really appreciated that suggestion, and found that in the last hour when the contractions were intense and close together and very painful, I really did just what she said. Sometimes I was using the handheld shower head to relieve the pain, sometimes I was leaning on the bed, sometimes I was bouncing on the ball. It was a relief to know that being fickle and changing positions every 5 minutes or less was okay with everyone, and they all supported whatever helped me to get through the pain.

Jeff was a champion coach and partner through the whole thing. He was also calm, patient and encouraging and found a massage technique for my lower back that really, really helped the pain.

When Thomas was finally born, when that final push was done, I have never felt such relief and joy and elation. They put him on my chest, skin-to-skin, and the lights were low and it was pouring rain outside and it was just peaceful and emotional and wonderful. He was a bit fussy and pooped all over me, but just to know he was out of my body, and healthy and completing our family filled me with such joy.

And now, being home, watching the three big brothers with their new little brother has been such fun. I love that school is out, that we have no schedule to follow and we can get to know Thomas and love him all together. My parents were here for a week and did so much to help and support us, and now friends have taken over, bringing food and love and more joy into our home.

Babies are so special and I feel so blessed to have this little guy to snuggle and feed and smell and hold. He is a very important part of our family, and we couldn't be more happy to have him here with us.

***If you're interested, you can see some better pictures than we were able to take of Thomas's first days in the hospital here. The password is 504801361282318, last four of my name is Full.