Wage a war against discouragement

Six hours into this work day and I'm feeling like I chose the wrong career. This feeling is not new--evidenced by the pages of frustrations recorded over the years in my journal, this feeling is a frequent visitor. Potty training failures, trying to dry laundry with a dryer held together by duct tape, hearing my name spoken a minimum of 100 times just this morning, and rushing the three littles into their clothes and to the school to cheer on the oldest in a battle of books competition, only to hear "why did you even come, mom?" are just a few of the items contributing to this today.

I know that discouragement is a strategy of He who wishes to see us fail, and sadly, it is effective in accomplishing what He desires: that is, to make us feel angry, depressed, selfish and irritable and like our lives are horrible.

I also know that this is just not true. My life is wonderful, and I am thrilled and blessed each day with the family and things that surround me. So, today and in the days to come, in my moments of selfishness, when all I want to do is lace up my Sauconys, turn up my ipod and run away, I will remember that I did not choose this job to bask in my selfishness and wish for more moments to do only what I want. I chose it, though I didn't know it at the time, to learn about that essential attribute of godliness: UN-selfishness.

Today and everyday I will wage a war on discouragement. I will choose to believe the words and feelings poured into my soul during my moments of scripture reading and meditation that this work is so important, that I am loved, that I am forgiven, and that my failures will be made strengths. I will choose to believe the words of living prophets when they tell me to "be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. . .these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him."

I will accept that many more days like this are up ahead, but I will dig deep, pray hard and win.

Spending Freeze

Perhaps like some of you, we overspent a little this Christmas, and decided to put ourselves on a spending freeze for the final two weeks of our fiscal month. For us, spending freeze=staying out of all stores, restaurants, and buying nothing that wasn't absolutely essential, so we didn't stop buying milk or gas.

We are now two days away from being able to spend money again, and, although, at the beginning of this, I was so sick of stores because of all the shopping done at Christmas, I'm at the point where I could use a good trip to Target. I think having a shopping fast was good for me in several different ways. I have never been so resourceful in my meal making as I have these past two weeks. We don't eat out a lot, but we definitely do a trip to Costco or Taco Bell for lunch or dinner here and there, and I am missing the convenience of that. I love to cook, but 16 days in a row with no help can make you dream of a gut-buster Costco food court hot dog merely for the fact that someone else cooked it and we can throw away the mess when we're done.

In other news, I am more than a little obsessed with this caramel corn/moose munch recipe. I made at least 4 batches to give away to neighbors at Christmas, but since then it has been made about 4 more times just to eat. I have made it with and without chocolate and can shamelessly sit and eat almost the whole batch all myself. The difference with this and other caramel corns that I have made is the honey. It adds a whole new layer of flavor that is unique and addicting.

This little guy

is officially 6, almost 7 months old. His cute little mug hasn't been seen a lot on this blog, since his arrival has made my life so much more full and busy than even I imagined, but he has been growing and is loved on every single day by all of his big brothers in their own special ways.

Around here, he is mostly just called baby, as Thomas just seems like a big name for such a little person. He'll eventually grow into his name, but for now, we like baby.

I'm discovering the joy of having older children and young children growing up in the same house, and the love and concern the older ones have for the little ones. It brings me so much happiness to watch their interactions and expressions of love and adoration.

Handmade Christmas

During the month of December, our boys turned into little elves for each other, as we followed the tradition found last year here. This is such a fun tradition, and one that I can see us doing for years to come because the planning, the making and the giving is so much fun for Jeff and me and the kids. I love the one-on-one time and the secrets we keep as we come up with ideas and go about making them together. The kids open these gifts from each other on Christmas Eve, and they are just thrilled to see what the other one has made for them. I look forward to when the two littles are older, and can participate as well.

James's handmade gifts:
For Owen: decoupaged a box, where he stores all his special "stuff" (pokemon cards, lego sets, gum, silly bands, you get the idea),
For Henry: made an elmo bank from a peanut butter bottle.
For Thomas: sewed this cute little snowman stuffed animal.

Owen's handmade gifts:
For James: freezer-paper stenciled him an Oregon Ducks t-shirt
For Henry: Using this fun technique, made him a bag to take to the library

Henry, being a little craft challenged at age 2, picked out new toothbrushes for his older brothers and was thrilled about it.

I also love to wrap a handmade item for the boys and put it under the tree. This year, James got a new bag for his piano books, and Owen got a bag to hold the loose legos that usually end up all over the floor anytime they get used. This is a pretty great tutorial, if you have legos or any small toys that need a home. Next year I hope to make the little boys something as well. I just ran out of time.

I also did a little post-Christmas sewing for some things that Santa brought. My boys love to do lego sets, and they love to keep them together, but ziploc bags and boxes just haven't been working. So I made a few of these bags for the sets and the instructions, and a padded bag for their new ipods.

 We stayed home for Christmas this year, and had my oldest sister, Alisa, to visit. Although we missed all the family we normally see, it was very relaxing and pleasant to be on our own schedule and not have to make that LONG drive to Utah.

Happy New Year!

Every so often

The older boys are home from school today. Every so often, we have a day where they are all home together and they actually play, use their imaginations, and get along like I always hoped my kids would and should.

Today, while eating lunch, they were playing the "quiet game". Apparently their bus driver has them play this often on the bus ride home and rewards them with starburst and suckers. I can see why. The loser in this particular game had to be the student, and winner would be the teacher in a future game of school, to be played once lunch was finished. In between bites I overheard, "pause the game! you can talk to mom only", "pause the game! it doesn't count against you if you laugh at bubba", "pause the game, gotta go to the bathroom!" Until one final statement from the big brother himself, "Okay, NO more pause the games, laughs, or this doesn't counts--next one to make a noise really loses". To which middle brother burst into giggles and thus, became the student.

Immediately following lunch, the game of school proceeded, which included teacher making flash cards for student, and helping him learn his addition facts. Just a fun memory that I hope will be etched in my mind forever.

New Book

If you, like me, are raising boys and want them to be honest, courageous, well-rounded and kind, this is a helpful, inspirational read.

Two things I loved about this book:

• It is well organized and concise, beginning with the identification of troubles that face our boys today, and finishing with helpful suggestions on how to combat these troubles in our homes
• The author, Meg Meeker, writes with a Christian perspective that is refreshing and empowering

A few things I learned from this book:

• I gleaned a fresh perspective on the complex and wonderful relationship between a mother and her son. Meeker explains how a mother is a "dispenser of grace" and an "emotional connector" "Grace is love that is undeserved. Because a mother can see through a gnarled physique, a low IQ, a beast-like temper, or a chronic disease right to the soul of her son, she can spot the beauty within him, which allows her to love him. She can forgive him, excuse him, accept him, and love him when no one else will. Because her eyes pierce through the layers of this ugliness and finds the lost part of his self, she can extend him grace when no one else can. When a mother extends outstretched arms to a son who has failed in sports, or school, or socially, or been deemed not smart enough, 'manly enough', or just plain not good enough, he begins to understand what love is all about. (pg. 122)
• "The reality of a mother's love is that it sometimes comes out sideways. Mothers are often tired, manipulated, and they make mistakes. They scream when they mean to apologize. . .They worry about all the things that can go wrong. But there's an easy way to take some of the pressure off--and that is to allow both you and your son more time to relax. Some of the most important moments of being a parent consist of just being there for your kids and sharing the most mundane aspects of life with them." (pg. 125) 
• The chapter titled, "The Difference a Dad Makes" made me realize even more why my boys love and idolize their dad so much. I'm so grateful my boys have a dad who realizes how important this relationship is. "In a son's eyes, his father is the source of all correct answers. He knows what's going to happen next. He is smarter, stronger and tougher than the rest. A boy's world is shaped by how his father responds to those around him. Fathers are the authorities. They set rules, because they know the rules." (pg. 147)
• I learned that my boys need more time with me, with their dad, and less time with all electronics. Their innocence needs to be preserved and they need to be taught how to progress from boyhood to manhood. Meeker offers helpful, encouraging suggestions on how to implement these things on a daily basis.

I feel empowered by this book, and would recommend it to all.

Garden 2011: part 4

Just wanted to do a little garden update. Here is what I picked just the other day. I am finally swimming in grape tomatoes, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. We were super proud of that long carrot, as we have had many misshapen, stubby, and forked ones--this one is skinny, but so long and beautiful.

There is just nothing so delicious as home-grown vegetables. Now I'm trying to grow my second round of cabbage, snap peas and broccoli, although the broccoli plants have been eaten alive by something, and I'm hoping they come back.